Find Your People: A Guide to Belonging Abroad
From Survival to Thriving: A Guide for Expats and Third-Culture Adults
Welcome
Belonging isn’t something we stumble into. It’s something we slowly building - through tiny acts of courage, kindness, and showing up. Whether you’ve just arrived in a new country or have been abroad for years, the ache for connection is real, and so is the beauty of finding your people, even if only for a season.
This is your gentle guide. In collaboration with House of Peregrine Expert Erin Frobenius, this isn’t about performance or pressure. It’s about authentic entry points to find your people, faster.
Start Here: What Kind of Connector Are You?
We all build relationships differently. There’s no one-size-fits-all path, so let’s begin with how you tend to connect:
- The Deep Diver You prefer small circles, rich conversations, and emotional resonance. You’re looking for one or two kindred spirits.
- The Casual Connector You’re a friendly face at the café, the gym, or school drop-off. Low-pressure, light touch - but it builds over time.
- The Community Builder You thrive on hosting, organizing, and weaving people together. You create the container where connection happens.
Reflect: Which one feels most like you right now? What do you need more of?
Authentic Acts of Connection
Here are small ways to soften into belonging - none of them require certainty about how long you'll stay. They simply say, “I’m here today.”
- Buy a plant for your home
- Learn your barista’s name
- Ask a neighbor about a favorite local walk
- Offer to share a school pickup
- Say yes to a casual gathering
- Host something small: a walk, a coffee, a simple dinner
These are micro-moments. Stack them over time to see your connections grow.
Words to Reach Out
Sometimes the hardest part is starting. Here are a few openers to help you reach out:
- "I'm still getting to know the area - do you have any favorite spots nearby?"
- "Would you want to grab a coffee sometime?"
- "We're new to the school - how long have you been here?"
- "I’m trying to meet more people in the neighborhood - would you be up for a walk?"
Remember, connection doesn’t require a perfect script. Just a little courage and curiosity.
Let It Be Impermanent
One of the quiet truths of expat life is that nothing stays exactly the same. You may make a beautiful connection that only lasts a year. Someone may leave. You may leave.
Let it be real anyway. Let it count. Let it soften you, cherish the time you have. Sometimes time together can be quality over quantity and some of the most meaningful moments can be shared with those you will only know for a season......
But Know your "No's"
Being open to new people, places and experiences is important but it is also very good to hone your intuition. Practice finding your no's or your "not yet's" in order to truly make room for your Yes!
You’re Not Alone
If you feel disconnected, it doesn’t mean you’ve failed. It means you’re human. It means you’re paying attention. Connection can take time - but it starts with a decision to show up, just as you are and prioritize being curious, open and seen.
Let this be your reminder: You can work on belonging to yourself, even before you feel it from others.
Let's Build Community Together
This journey is better when shared. Join us for a lighthearted and meaningful 14 Days to Belonging challenge. Whether you’ve just arrived or have been here for years, this challenge is designed to deepen connection and spark joy in small, everyday ways.
You’ll find our simple graphic below with the daily outline - but we invite you to take it a step further. Join our welcome series below to go deeper with us. One small action a day, a little reflection, and a whole lot of support. Let's build this together.
🌿 14 Days to Belonging
A gentle challenge to create more connection, grounding, and joy—one small step at a time.
Over the next 14 days, we’ll share 10 suggestions. Each one is an invitation, not a requirement. Swap, adapt, or repeat what feels good. There’s no perfect order and no “behind”—this is your journey.
You can do these at your own pace. The intention is simply to notice where connection wants to grow—and give it a little space to do so.
🌱 The 10 Suggestions
1. Go for a walk without a map
Let your feet lead you. Pause at corners. Look up. Be curious.
2. Introduce yourself to someone nearby
Whether it's a neighbor, barista, or fellow parent—start small. A smile goes a long way.
3. Buy something that makes your space feel like home
A plant, a candle, a soft blanket—something that roots you in the present.
4. Say yes to a casual invitation
Even if you’re not sure. Even if it feels small. Sometimes, showing up is the point.
5. Start a conversation in a local café, shop, or playground
Try: “Have you lived here long?” or “Do you have a favorite place around here?”
6. Explore a new part of your neighborhood or city
Pick a place you’ve never been—observe what feels familiar, what feels new.
7. Join a local group (in person or online)
Find something low-stakes and low-pressure—co-working, creative, or communal.
8. Send a message to someone you met recently
Reconnect. Express interest. Suggest something casual.
9. Host something small
Coffee. A walk. An open invitation. Create space, even if only for one person.
10. Reflect
What felt good? What was hard? What surprised you? What do you want more of?
Next Step
Join us for the 14 Days to Belonging challenge. This experience is designed to be meaningful whether you’ve just landed in a new city or you are in a new phase in your same city. We can all benefit from deeper connections and more intentional moments of community.
Sign up for our email sequence to walk through each day with us. One prompt at a time, a little reflection, and gentle encouragement to help you feel more grounded, connected, and truly feel at home.
About Erin Frobenius
Erin Frobenius is a licensed clinical social worker, relocation counselor, and consultant based in Amsterdam. Drawing from her own journey of moving abroad as a traveling partner and mother, Erin supports internationals as they navigate the emotional, social, and practical transitions of life in a new or not-so-new country.
Her work blends mental health expertise with a deep commitment to community building, offering one-to-one counselling, workshops, and tailored support for those seeking connection, clarity, and belonging abroad. Believing in the power of movement to support mental health and connection, all services in Amsterdam are offered as Walk&Talks, or virtually if that is preferred. Through her practice and platform, Relocation Counseling and Consulting, Erin helps internationals find steadiness in the unfamiliar and create lives they love—wherever they land.
🔗 relocationcounseling.com
📸 @todayiwasasked/
Helpful links;
Links: Free 20 Minute Call/Book Now
Netwalking: Netwalking: for female creative & wellness entrepreneurs
Listen to the full episode with Erin here.
Let's keep the conversations going. Come join our WhatsApp community here.
“Finding Your People: An Authentic Guide to Belonging Abroad” was created by House of Peregrine, in collaboration with Erin Frobenius - 2025.