Transcription - Is Burnout Real? What it is and How to Heal

House Of Peregrine (01:03)

Welcome back to the House of Peregrine podcast where we explore new ways of living, leading, and belonging while abroad. Today I'm joined by Alicia Ingruber a somatic empowerment coach who helps sensitive driven women overcome self-doubt and burnout so they can lead with confidence and ease. After her own two-year burnout, Alicia rebuilt her life by working with her body, not against Now she helps others to do the same.

House Of Peregrine (01:26)

I'm excited to bring this conversation to you today because it is a very delicate and often misunderstood subject. Burnout is something that until you do it, you just don't know what it's all about. And I bring up things today that I have never talked about before on my own journey. I hope you enjoy it. I hope it can help those out there that might be wondering or supporting someone who might be in or experiencing a burnout. And also I hope that it brings new awareness around leadership,

women

House Of Peregrine (01:56)

you so much for joining me today,

House Of Peregrine (01:58)

Alicia. I cannot tell you how excited I am to speak with you today.

Alicia (02:02)

Thank you so much for inviting me into this space. I'm so excited to be here.

House Of Peregrine (02:07)

I knew I wanted to speak to you when you use the word somatic and burnout in the same sentence. And then you threw in a couple other things like yoga and things that I love. And so I knew that you have a deep understanding of something that I find really, really sometimes missing in our mental health discussions. So the body. Yeah, so why don't you quickly introduce yourself and then I want to jump in.

guilty of always wanting to jump right in because I'm so excited to talk to people, but why don't you introduce yourself first?

Alicia (02:39)

Alright, not a problem. So hello everyone, my name is Alicia. I have a company called Alicia Inspired and I am a somatic empowerment coach for women. And I support women in becoming their most confident selves by using their bodies so that they can achieve what they want without burning themselves out, which is a huge part to not overwhelm and not become too anxious.

House Of Peregrine (03:05)

yeah, and that, this is such a massive topic, but it's actually really specific. It's actually really simple when you break it down. Would you, when I say it correctly, that fundamentally women's bodies need different things than maybe are required in our built environment right now.

Alicia (03:23)

Absolutely. So, so much of the research in medical professionals were based on men's bodies. everything from the amount of sleep we've been told that we need, everything has been based on a man's body. And a man's body has very different hormones than a woman's body. And so now there is research starting to come out that is prioritizing women's health and just showing that our bodies work completely differently.

And we need things, we need to approach things differently for our happiest and healthiest lives. So everything from needing more hours of sleep, from needing more warmth in a room, our bodies get colder much faster, from the way that we approach exercise and approach food and how we deal with stress is very different when we compare men and women, especially if we're talking to sensitive women.

House Of Peregrine (04:16)

Yeah, and I want to get into your work there and your specialization there. But first I wanted to say something about leadership. this, this not only we need different things, but we produce different things, we produce things differently. And that can come through in leadership, which something is near and dear to my heart, actually, because after spending

10 years in advertising as a freelance film director, that's a very male dominated field, using my body like a man would have, or expecting myself to perform in the same way, using the same skills, cultivating the same leadership style. This is a subject that's near and dear to my heart. And so I really love exploring this. So there's so many things. And then you have a specialty in sensitive people. So.

Yeah, why don't we start with some definitions for people of how you define these things. So let's start with somatic.

Alicia (05:07)

So somatic basically means of the body. So when we talk about somatic work, it means that we are using the body in some way to feel deeper into our experience and to rewire or reprogram something that we're carrying physically in our bodies. So our bodies are incredibly intelligent creatures and our body remembers

everything that we have ever experienced, as well as what has been experienced through our ancestral line. So there's a lot of really cool research that shows that trauma can be passed down through generations, just through DNA. It's really powerful. So there are things in our body that our conscious mind is not always aware of, but our subconscious mind is linked to our body really deeply.

So when we start to work with our body, we can actually tap into the subconscious mind and into forms of healing that we wouldn't be able to access just using our rational minds. And this can look like movement-based therapy, breathwork, embodiment, using voice and expression. There's lots of different ways this can happen, but it's a really, really, really, really, really powerful mode of healing.

And I feel that this is what's been missing from a lot of mind-based therapies. I have so many clients that come to me and say, okay, I went into therapy. I understand why I feel this way. I know where it comes from. I understand my patterns, but I still feel anxious. I don't feel different in my body. And it's because we're missing that element of actually working with the body to release stress and trauma and to...

regulate yourself so that you feel safe and you feel confident in yourself.

House Of Peregrine (06:57)

And it brings you in congruence, right? That mind-body connection. You don't have to know what you're moving somatically, necessarily for it to move, but that brings you in a more coherent way, which strikes me, your work is a little bit this way. So you're coming in congruence with your body. And also, if you're working with women, with the way women's bodies need to work. So let's discuss that a little bit. So somatically, we are, you know,

Alicia (07:00)

Mm-hmm.

House Of Peregrine (07:25)

there's a way of healing, like you said, traditional talk therapy. If you're having trouble in your life or even hitting blocks about what you getting, what you where you want to go, could somatic work can really be the missing link, especially I mean, I don't know if it's especially for women, but what I've noticed is women actually.

need this maybe and maybe for whatever reason. I don't know if men do too, but speaking from my own experience somatic work is extremely powerful. And so then if you are coming into concurrence as a woman, how does that look? How is that different?

when we start to recognize that we actually lead differently, need differently things. The world has so far not been made for us. We've actually been operating at a disadvantage with the built world. How does that stack on top?

Alicia (08:13)

It's really interesting because as women, we've grown up in a male dominated world. The world is designed to support men. And so a lot of women have been suppressing their natural feminine energy. Everyone has both masculine and feminine, but they've suppressing their feminine energy to essentially show up as men with this idea that I have to

do things like men to be successful in my career, to achieve certain things. And our society in general views the feminine energy, the feminine aspect as weak, as frivolous, and as unimportant. But for women especially, we have this feminine energy and the more that we can live with our feminine energy and really tap into that, actually the healthier our bodies are gonna be because

we're feminine beings, right? Whether you identify as feminine or not. so feminine energy is about really being present, really being able to feel and experience whatever sensations are coming through. Feminine energy is about creativity and being able to connect to other people. It's very heart led. And I always say the difference between masculine feminine energy

If you're in your masculine energy, you read a book to learn something. I'm studying, I'm learning. If you're in your feminine energy, you read a book for the pure enjoyment of reading. No other goal, just I want to read and I enjoy this. So being able to also live in that state calms our nervous system down because a lot of women, when they are in their masculine, they're very much pushing.

achieving, they've got a long to-do list, they're very stressed and being able to come into our feminine allows our nervous system to relax which allows our body to heal and replenish itself and we feel so much better.

House Of Peregrine (10:12)

Yeah, it's the actual recharge. So I found this for myself. It's really funny that if I don't have time to do that in the weekend, there is no recovering for me during the week. And that was a hard one lesson that just reading a book in front of the fire is my recharge. It's not going on a trip. It's not planning more stuff at the weekend. It's not necessarily even seeing anybody else. It's really being still being tapped in.

Alicia (10:22)

Mmm.

House Of Peregrine (10:38)

and enjoying something really simple. And that unlock has been so key for me, but it took literally 40 years to learn. So I'm hoping with your, what you're doing is so, that's why I'm so passionate about what you're doing, one of the reasons. So then we have sensitivity or people who identify as highly sensitive. Tell me about that.

Alicia (10:59)

I love these people because I'm one of them as well. So a highly sensitive person is basically someone who has a reactive nervous system that responds more intensely to outside stimuli. So our nervous system responds to environments, to physical sensations, to our senses, all those sort of things. But highly sensitive people, that response is more intense.

House Of Peregrine (11:01)

Yeah.

Alicia (11:26)

So they feel more in the simplest of terms. They just feel more. They feel more emotionally. They feel more through their senses. And in a world that is very sensory overloaded, there's a lot of noise, there's a lot of people, there's a lot of visuals, it's moving very fast. This can feel pretty overwhelming, right? Like as a sensitive person.

And so a lot of the time that sensitivity is viewed as a weakness or limitation. I can't handle being social a lot. You I get tired really easily or I can't watch violent films. I really it's too intense for me to watch. And I've had clients come to me and really be upset that they're sensitive to see that as a weakness. But I see sensitivity as this beautiful superpower because

To be able to feel is what it means to be alive. It's what's separating us from the robots for now, in any case. But I mean, it's why art was created, right? For our capacity to feel and to connect to other people. And you are, with that sensitivity, you are able to feel, yes, the lowest of the lows, right? It's pretty intense and heavy. But on the other side of the spectrum, you're also able to feel the

highest of highs. Like the feelings that people take drugs for, right? Like that you can naturally access. So it's really about appreciating the sensitivity and using it to your advantage. So I've found personally, my body tells me what I need to eat, what I need to avoid, what people, like my intuition has just gotten so strong because I've really embraced my sensitivity.

And it's just about being able to manage so that you regulate your nervous system more often and you have really strong healthy boundaries for when things become a little bit too much. So there's a way to navigate. Yeah.

House Of Peregrine (13:26)

It strikes me. Yeah, it strikes

me that this is another case. It's almost like if you're a woman who has been in the built environment using your masculine energy, the world is not necessarily built for us, not men's fault, but this is built around men and you're sensitive. These are layers and layers of things.

And as someone who discovered later in life again that I was also sensitive, you think that you are, there's something wrong with you. And so when you recognize and honor this,

Alicia (13:55)

Mm.

House Of Peregrine (13:59)

it actually turns the entire world upside down. Your world, you just realize you have an extra sense almost. So like everything is louder for you. Everything is stronger for you. And you're like, no wonder my body is so tired. It brings a lot of relief to, because when you look around and think, why is no one else feeling, seeing or hearing this?

Alicia (14:13)

Mm-hmm.

House Of Peregrine (14:22)

it makes you wonder about yourself. makes that extra load. And so I think that the work you're doing as we keep narrowing it down is actually seems really specific, but I think that it's actually more common than we realize.

Alicia (14:38)

Yeah, a lot of people don't acknowledge it because of that stigma of seeing it as weakness. And it really amazes me as a sensitive person if I'm in a space. I remember I once had to buy a phone and I walked into the store and all over the walls there were screens flashing films and color and there was music blaring like you were in a nightclub. And I said to the guy, how can you work here?

And he's like, oh, I don't even notice. I'm like, really? Like, I was like, wow, okay, okay. You know, but that's part of his nervous system that kind of blocks all of that. So I see that as a bit of a numbing thing, right? Because you're missing out on what's actually happening in your environment. You're not even aware of what's around you. And I remember once, because I feel music very, very deeply. It's a whole sensory experience.

House Of Peregrine (15:08)

How?

Alicia (15:34)

and I played a song for someone, like you have to listen to this. while this music was playing, I could feel it through my body. The emotion is coming up, like, my God. And they're just sitting there like, yeah. And I was really like, how can you not feel this? I'm like, no, it's all right. he was really blown away by what I was experiencing. He's like, what's happening? I'm like, you're missing out. Like, it's actually such a gift to experience the world in this way. At least I think so. It's much more colorful.

House Of Peregrine (15:46)

Yeah.

Yeah, it really is.

Yeah, it has, as of everything, has ups and downs, right? Positives and negatives. So you, so the last bit that you, I think, unintentionally specialize in is international people or people who are living outside of their country. So this is yet another layer of difference. And so with that, I want to tell your story. Can you tell us a little bit about your...

Alicia (16:04)

Absolutely.

House Of Peregrine (16:21)

own journey and how you got to do what you're doing today.

Alicia (16:26)

Absolutely. So I was born in Australia to a Dutch mother and an Austrian born Australian father. And my father worked for the Australian High Commission. And so from the age of two years old, we moved country every three or four years. And so growing up, I was always the new girl at school. I always had a different accent and

I was always searching for how to belong into these new social groups. So it was an incredibly beautiful, amazing experience. But as you said, there's a negative side to that. And there was a lot of heartbreak and the pain of losing your life and having to start over multiple times. And so when it came to where do I want to live,

I chose to live in Amsterdam because my mother being Dutch, we had come back to the Netherlands quite regularly throughout my childhood and my teenage years to visit her family. So for me, this felt like the most consistent and familiar place through my upbringing. And so I had this idea in my head of like, okay, I'm going to move to the Netherlands and I'm going to feel like I belong and all my cousins are there. My family is there. It's this is what I've been looking for my whole life.

House Of Peregrine (17:45)

What could go wrong?

Alicia (17:45)

And I move here

and that was not the case. And then I just realized that I am not Dutch. Dutch people don't see me as Dutch at all. Australian people don't see me as Australian because I don't have the accent. And looking for that sense of home and belonging, it was very disappointing to realize that that's not something that can be found in a place necessarily. And so

doing my best to create my dream life, I went into overdrive. So I decided, okay, I'm going to be, I'm going to make this the best experience ever. I'm to work super hard in my career and achieve incredible things. I am going to work out like crazy and get the best body. I'm going to give everything to my relationships and I'm going to go out all the time. La la la la la. And this kept going.

for quite a few years until my body started to send warning signs that I was feeling more exhausted, I was getting headaches, I was getting a lot of stomach issues, digestion issues, and I was becoming more and more unhappy. But I ignored that, and my intuition was flashing the lights, saying something's not right, these people are not the people you're supposed to be with, like, you know.

but I didn't want to listen to that. So I kept going, I kept pushing until eventually my body collapsed into burnout. And this burnout lasted two, almost three years, took three years to fully recover from. And I lost everything I had worked so hard for. Relationship was gone, career was gone, home was gone, social circle gone, health was gone.

I couldn't walk to the end of the street. Like this is how intense it was. My nervous system had been under so much stress and pressure that I couldn't listen to music for about a year. I couldn't walk into a store for six months because the lights and the colors and the people, my God. So I really, really collapsed. And I remember being on my yoga mat in child's pose. And for the first time I could really hear my body. My body was

leading with me and she asked me why is it never enough?

Why don't you love me? Why are you always pushing me so hard? And in that moment, I made a promise to my body. said, okay, from now on, I'm going to listen to you and you and I are gonna do this together. And that was the beginning of me learning to really listen to my body, to honor my body, to respect my body, and just to understand how my energy actually works. And so,

From my burnout, the only thing I knew was I cannot go back to my corporate job. That's no longer an option. So when I asked myself, what do I really want to do? It was, I want to teach people to love their bodies and to be in their bodies and to have a relationship where they're not pushing themselves and criticizing themselves and beating themselves up all the time, but just really caring for themselves on a deep somatic level. And so...

I started teaching yoga. I used yoga as a tool to help people to connect to what they were feeling. And that evolved into coaching and mentorship, into nervous system regulation, into energy work, into all sorts of modalities. But yeah, that is the basis of all of my work is that connection to the body because that really saved my life to bring myself back to my body. And even though burnout was the most

painful, excruciating experience of my life. I am so grateful because it was the ultimate lesson of you cannot ignore your body. You cannot treat it like a machine because it's just not.

House Of Peregrine (21:38)

Yeah, I realized we didn't define burnout because this is such your experience. I think you can speak to it so eloquently because burnout is something that we it's very poorly understood even more stigmatized and people actually it probably doesn't look or feel like what people think it does. This is not being tired. This is not being

overwhelmed. Can you give us a really good idea of what burnout actually is?

Alicia (22:05)

So burnout is essentially a physical, mental and emotional collapse in your body. So if we look at the nervous system and we imagine that there, for simplicity's sake, there are three main levels. So level one, we're regulated, right? We're relaxed in our body, we feel safe. This is where we feel creative, where we connect to other people, where we're happy. This is where we wanna live. This is the good stuff.

Then if we move to level two, this is where your nerve system gets activated into fight or flight. It senses danger. And danger to our bodies, it doesn't matter if it's a deadline or if it's a tiger coming to rip our faces off, okay? It's the same thing. So our body can't differentiate between stress that is not life threatening and stress that is. And so when we get activated into this fight or flight, cortisol pumps through, adrenaline pumps through,

All our energy goes into our muscles so we can fight for our lives or run for our lives. Brilliant system. However, we're not supposed to stay here. And in our modern world, a lot of people are living in this fight or flight state that that level of stress becomes their new normal. And because all of that energy is going into your muscles, the other functions in your body are not working optimally.

Your immune system is not working optimally. Your digestion is not. Your hormones, all of that is being sacrificed to save you, right? We've got to run away from the tiger. And your body is incredibly resilient. So we can stay there for quite a long time. But at some point, our body just starts to break down. It cannot hold that tension or that stress for so long. Our batteries, if you will, start to drain.

And then we go into level three, which is kind of this dorsal state. It's in the wild. If the tiger has gotten us, we go numb, right? We're preparing for death. It's like the body's saying, I cannot fight this anymore. I surrender. I don't feel anything. Just eat me. Eat, the tiger eat me. And so what's happening is in that sense of burnout, you've become incredibly numb emotionally and mentally.

So anything that used to give you joy, you don't feel joy. You don't feel anything. In fact, the only thing I could do was cry because I had no idea who I was. I cannot emotionally connect to other people. I don't care about anything, right? Like there's no, there's a sense of failure and detachment and...

being alone in the world and that nothing else matters, nothing matters, everything's pointless. But at the same time, your body is not only in this state of collapse, it's still stressed because that's level two, right? So in that healing process, what we do is we kind of dip down into fight or flight. We feel all that stress again, and then we go back up into that level three, and we're just kind of here. And we need to get down to that level one where we're healthy and happy.

Burnout is really hard for people to understand because on the outside you look normal, but you don't have the energy, you don't have the willpower, your body cannot function anymore. It's fought the battle for so long and your energy is done, it's empty. And so in that healing process, because it takes so long to heal,

that energy might recharge, you might sleep for a bit and okay, I have a bit of energy, but then anything you do takes energy again, you're back to square one. That's why it takes so long to heal. And our society, our culture expects us to get over burnout the way we get over a cold or the flu, right? I have people and I'm like, how long have you been on burnout leave? three months, six months, and they want me to come back to work. I'm like, you're not ready, you can't.

you will crash even more. are not going to get the results they want from you. We don't understand that burnout is not just like a flu symptom. Burnout is a result of years of pushing yourself to the extreme. And it's your body saying, babe, I am done. I can't. I don't have any more to give. And that takes a really long time to heal.

And it's a very painful experience if you have associated your sense of self-worth with what you achieve or this need to prove yourself or you're a perfectionist or anything like that. It can be devastating to realize, it can feel like a failure and it can feel like your body has betrayed you.

House Of Peregrine (26:46)

Yeah, or, and I think that this, I've heard people say this, like, you would never ask someone to walk on a broken leg, but we're asking people to go back to work or go back to normal life with a broken body, essentially, like your, your spirit is broken down. and that, that surprises people. think it takes you.

Alicia (27:01)

Yeah.

Yeah.

House Of Peregrine (27:11)

because we're so used to being able, especially as if you're able-bodied adult, you can pretty much do anything. This level of breakdown is disconcerting at best. It takes you completely by surprise.

Alicia (27:23)

Yeah, and I don't think people understand how extreme it is. Because I've heard people talking like, I had a burnout and blah, blah, blah. I'm feeling burnt out and la, la, la, la. Like that's different. That's tired. That's exhaustion. Okay, that's fine. But burnout is you're done. Like this is very extreme and I don't think it's being taken. I don't think people are realizing how extreme it is. Yeah, it's...

House Of Peregrine (27:27)

Yep.

Alicia (27:50)

It's intense.

House Of Peregrine (27:51)

Yeah.

And do you think that when people say they're tired, that that's really good to recognize that you're on your way to a burnout. Maybe you're not in a full burnout, but you you're on your way. It's good to recognize that you feel like you might be burning out. And so those are often the signs we we ignore, or maybe that's what they're signaling. But

when you're in a burnout, it's like giving birth. are either giving birth, or you're pregnant or not pregnant. There is a time when you are undeniably burned out. And that's the thing that's very, I think that part is very poorly misunderstood. There's the road to burnout, and then there is a full burnout. And maybe it looks a little bit different for everybody, but there are certain signs and certain hallmarks of having a burnout.

Thank you for explaining that because I think that full body experience is poorly interested. And we do this at work. Like this is often talked about at work. But in my experience, my own personal experience, which I don't talk about very often is I had a burnout in motherhood. And that is from my own personal experience, a whole level, different level of devastation. And that

I had to map it onto what others were experiencing in the workplace, but I mapped it onto my experience, being a highly sensitive woman with three kids under five doing an international move. That was not, and remodeling a house, those were not things you should do all at once.

Alicia (29:20)

It's those all of that is incredibly stressful for your nervous system, especially moving right like to a new place that's out of your familiar comfort zone. that anything out of your comfort zone is threatening to your subconscious, to your nervous system, to your body. So go moving to a new place. Your body is already on edge. Where's the tiger? Where's the tiger? my God. Renovations in your house. You cannot come home.

House Of Peregrine (29:25)

Yeah. Yeah.

Alicia (29:44)

to where you normally feel safe. So you have people walking around, there's noise, there's mess. So you cannot ground into that safety. So again, you're on edge. And then to be responsible for three young children who are constantly demanding your attention and your time, that's a lot to ask for yourself. I'm not surprised at all that you experienced that, really. It's very intense. And...

House Of Peregrine (30:06)

Yeah. So my

entry into somatic work was me going, I can't feel anything. Is that normal to have? Is it normal to have panic attacks? And it, this woman was just like, what? No, but it was, think my wish is for women, especially to know that this can happen even if you're not pushing hard at work.

Alicia (30:17)

You

House Of Peregrine (30:26)

If you're denying your nervous system or pushing yourself and not listening to that intuition that says, cannot do any more despite being asked to do more. This is not just about work burnout from my perspective. It's anytime you're not honoring who you are, what your nervous system is about, the knowledge that you're already being asked too much and living in a world built environment that may not work for you. These are all, it's possible at any time, work or no work.

Alicia (30:55)

Absolutely. And exactly like you said, we tend to focus on work, but I know women who have burned out from caring for their parents or someone who was sick in their life. All of the pressure and stress that comes with that, from emotional things, from really intense breakups, from having to move internationally. Like these are all huge stressors that we don't actually acknowledge. We just assume everybody should just get on with it and keep moving forward and

The feedback I hear all the time is I feel like I'm failing, feel like I'm weak, I feel like there's something wrong with me that I can't handle this obscene amount of stress, you know, because we've made it normal and it's not normal. And so, like you said, giving yourself that grace and being like, okay, I need to prioritize my wellbeing because otherwise I cannot show up for the people in my life or for my job or for anyone. That's the thing, like burnout cost me two years of my life.

I couldn't be a friend, I couldn't work, couldn't do anything.

House Of Peregrine (31:56)

Yeah, and that's the ultimate thing. And it's really difficult because actually everything is telling you you should be able to do this. There's no one, unless you hire a coach or go see someone, telling you these are your body's signs, telling you that warning, those warning shots that you were talking about. So talk about those a little bit if you wouldn't mind. Are there common warning signals?

Alicia (32:04)

yes.

House Of Peregrine (32:19)

because no one's gonna be watching this for you. You're watching out for yourself unless you're working with a coach like you, which I hope everyone can. What are some of the early warning signs that people can start looking at? Because we are A, not taught to trust our intuition. B, we're being asked too much already, a lot's being expected. And as international people, sensitive people, like all these extras, what can people watch out for? And I hate...

I know you and I can go beyond self care, right? So tell, let's get into it. Like what are these, how do we start listening to our body?

Alicia (32:51)

Okay, so your body is gonna be the first to tell you. This is why your body is so amazing. Yes, of course, feeling tired, but there's a difference between feeling tired and feeling drained most of the time. Yes, that feeling like you feel like you weigh a thousand kilos and you're dragging yourself out of bed and everything is like, my God, like.

House Of Peregrine (33:04)

Depleted. Yeah.

Alicia (33:15)

Okay, I need like five cups of coffee to just to get through my day. Like that is your body is telling you, I really need rest. Physically things like a lot of headaches, migraines, stomach issues, being unable to sleep and to rest, getting sick a lot is also because your immune system is lowered because you're under so much stress. So these things in your body are already starting to flash the signal.

Right. But we also have emotional signs and these are feelings like this sense of failure, like no matter what I do, I'm failing or I'm falling behind or I'm pushing this massive boulder uphill and I just I can't get to where I want to be feeling helpless, feeling trapped, feeling defeated, feeling like you have no support, that you're alone, feeling like, you know, there's

There's no joy. I'm not satisfied by anything. I'm just kind of going through the motions like where where is the what a vivid where is the you know, the juice of life that I'm enjoying myself. And a lot of the time, people will actually start to withdraw from their social circle. They'll start to isolate themselves. They will use food or drugs or alcohol to cope. So if you find that every night after work, you're like

going through the wine, you know, it's a way to kind of numb yourself and try to deal with those feelings of stress. People can become really reactive and you know, like really easily frustrated and easily angry. Or they can just sort of start, you can see that they're starting to get depressed and they're starting to just, they're starting to shut down, right? The light in their eyes is starting to disappear.

I remember so well after I had been healing, I was sitting with my family and everyone turned to me at the same time and went, there she is, you're back. Like it was like you, I had completely lost myself and I don't understand how that was, but from the outside they could clearly see and they said it was so strange, it happened so gradually, but now that you see, yeah, no, this is who you are. This is your old self back. So these are signs that your body is.

of flashing the signal, it's too much. You need to set a boundary, you need to slow down, you need to start saying no, you need to stop, right? And you need to start managing this. And this is really hard, like the things to watch out for is if you are someone who, like I said before, is a perfectionist, is a high achiever, is trying to prove themselves, is trying to gain your sense of self-worth by what you achieve, you are much more likely to burn out. Because

that belief keeps driving you even though when your body is saying no.

House Of Peregrine (35:55)

Yeah. And I think it's really important to recognize these things about yourself and accept them. Don't just go, don't, don't be driven by that. It's like, no, I'm driven by that. Now I need to take care of myself differently. Maybe I'll change my belief, but in the meantime, until then, realize that you're driven by this and, take care of yourself accordingly. I remember

when I realized that maybe I was going through a burnout and I was doing this on my own, right? There was no coaches talking about this yet. I remember going, I'm going to have to have a slow, like slow release, nervous breakdown. That's how I describe it. Like I'm going to detonate in slow motion because I don't, have three tiny children. I have a lot of responsibility. And so I piece together the support I needed and in a very like organic way.

by just going one step, then the next step, just following my own internal compass of like, the belief was, I don't need to feel this way, this is not inevitable. And that is what got me through. It's not inevitable that I feel this way just because I have three kids, just because I live abroad, just because I'm not working and I really want to be working.

It doesn't mean this is inevitable. And so that belief that this is not inevitable is something that women don't have. And it makes me incredibly angry that women don't have this inner knowing that this is not inevitable. This is not the outcome that has to be your life. And so is that a place to start for some people?

Alicia (37:28)

Absolutely. A lot of the work I do is actually showing women that you can achieve your goals, you can create the success that you want, you can still be high achieving, but you don't have to sacrifice your wellbeing. You're able to actually do both. And the more that you care for your body, actually the more successful you will become. And so we also realizing that you don't have to suffer so much, right?

You don't have to sacrifice everything that you have and be miserable every day as you push through this life. Like just to realize you can actually approach this in a different way and still get the result that you want. Yeah.

House Of Peregrine (38:10)

Yeah.

And I think if I'm honest, this is the most revolutionary thing in the world, this idea. I think that this is life and world changing, this idea. Like, I cannot tell you how much of my life mission is this idea because I think it will fundamentally change the entire world. So when women realize this,

Alicia (38:18)

Yes.

House Of Peregrine (38:33)

And this isn't us saying you can have it all. That is not what we're saying. Because as it all is right now, you can't. But there's more options. There's what's laid out in front of us, which is hats off to anyone who's living their life and they're satisfied in it. That is amazing. If you are...

Alicia (38:44)

Well, also do you want to?

Yes.

House Of Peregrine (38:56)

killing it at work, killing it at home, killing in your relationship. Your life is exactly. Please keep doing that. But that is not. That is not the only option. And that's not the only way to lead, way to succeed, way to even make the exact same bank account. Like if you want your bank account to be this and this, there are thousands, if not millions of ways to do that. There's not just one. And by following your own

inner compass and limits, that is, there's then millions of ways to get to where you want to go. That's my, my gen, yeah, that is my genuine belief in life. And if women do that, yeah, if women do that, the entire world will change.

Alicia (39:33)

Yeah, and you can do it your way.

Yeah, mine as well.

Yes, absolutely. It's so interesting because I was speaking actually to one of my clients about leadership. And when I work with people, I love to dive into their human design and check out their energy and all that sort of thing. And I said to her, there's a lot of energy here around leadership. And she said, oh, no, no, I can't be a leader. And I was like, interesting, why? And it was because she had these examples of where leadership.

was very male dominated and it was done in a certain way that really didn't feel good for her. And I was saying to her, I'm like, yeah, but you get to be a leader in your way, using your strengths, that actually your sensitivity and your empathy and your willingness to really listen to people and make them feel seen and heard, like that is so valuable to have in a team, right? That's a different way of leading that all of us are really craving because we're in a burnout epidemic, right? Like the...

The old capitalist ideas of productivity over everything doesn't work. It's not sustainable for our planet and it's not sustainable for us. So finding a different way to actually use your body, use these softer skills, use your energy, use your uniqueness and your sensitivity, this is what we need. We're going into this new paradigm and it's very exciting.

House Of Peregrine (40:59)

Yeah,

it's exciting. And I would like to say all of us have tried. It's not like we were like, no, this is why I think we're seeing this epidemic. In my opinion, it's because we all tried. We did the thing. We tried it. We took the bait.

Alicia (41:10)

Yeah, we did what we were told, right? Everyone, like especially from

early work, really, really hard and you'll be successful. If that were true, then the hardest working people like teachers or factory workers or whatever would be millionaires and they're not, right? Like, so it's not that hard. It's not not to work hard, of course, but it's not that hard work is the answer. And by working more and harder and longer, you will get to where you want to go. It's not the case.

House Of Peregrine (41:36)

Yeah. Yeah. And you mentioned human design. You mentioned you use a lot of different modalities, which for me, these are all modalities that were seen as kind of fringe or frivolous or whatever. And now they're starting to get people more serious about these things. These are things that are seen and unseen. They're tapping into your intuition. They're tapping into maybe different energetics of people.

And I think that that is something that is really, really, really powerful, even if like my husband of 20 years, he did not, he was not on board with these things to begin with until he started to see them as ways of tapping into your intuition, where you can still say that doesn't resonate. These are not the same things as saying,

ones and zeros, right? These are tools to help you tap into the unseen, these things that are like semantics that we don't, they're very poorly misunderstood, but they are very, very much affecting our everyday and our energy levels and our ability to be effective in the world the way the world needs us to be. And so I think that using those modalities, at least for me, became very important, not instead of

Alicia (42:25)

Mm-hmm.

House Of Peregrine (42:48)

maybe, you know, seeing a psychologist or any of these other things, but augmenting and learning this new skill of my body, of my intuition, and giving it its due. That was kind of my road towards them. And just adding those to the mix was really important. For me, that's my approach to life always, but I wish that more people could have access, I guess.

Alicia (43:12)

Mm hmm. Yeah. Because so many of these tools and modalities are just ways to connect you deeper to your body, exactly as you said, and connect you to your intuition. And if you have that healthy, strong connection to that inner guidance, it will it will change your life. Your body will show you go this way. Follow this passion. Quit this job. Go for this. You know, be with these people. Don't be with those people like

be in this environment, not that one. It will show you what is right for you and it will never let you down. And so it's really helpful to build that self-trust because we are all so unique and just allowing yourself to do things in your own unique way.

House Of Peregrine (43:53)

Yeah, my personal favorite is simply just recognizing that you're doing the thing your body doesn't want to do is a good first step. Like, I hear you, not doing it. I hear you that I should quit my job. Noted. I'm not going to do that today, though. So I think it can be much more.

Alicia (44:06)

Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm.

House Of Peregrine (44:11)

I think at least when I was learning about this, I was like, seems so extreme, but the steps don't have to be extreme. The steps can be very, very, very, like I said, slow motion, nervous breakdown. That was what I was after, right? Slow motion, nervous breakdown. Some people can blow up their lives and that is amazing, but that is not the only way to avoid having a burnout or getting into a life that doesn't suit you.

Alicia (44:14)

Mmm.

House Of Peregrine (44:36)

So how does this work when someone, if someone is resonating with this so much and with what you're bringing forward today, what is, how do they work with you? Like what does it look like to work with you, like a somatic coach as a woman who's very ambitious? Because these things,

Alicia (44:51)

You

House Of Peregrine (44:55)

Sometimes these softer things don't always go together. tell you, don't, don't have so much ambition. That's what's burning you out. And it's like, actually, no, how can we marry these things? What does that look like to work with you, Alicia?

Alicia (45:06)

Yeah, so it's exactly what you said. It's not black or white. It's that beautiful gray in the middle of how to bring these two things together. You don't have to sacrifice your ambition. It's more of making it sustainable in your body and having the support of your body to get you there, right? Because if your ambition is burning you out, you're not going to get to where you want to go, right? Like, that's just not going to work. So what it's like to work with me is...

We create a container of a few months and we have sessions where we use a variety of different modalities to essentially connect you to your body. And I've had clients who are like, I've never done this before. I don't even know what to feel, you know, like I'm completely disconnected. And I've had clients who are very easily connected. So don't let it scare you. We always go at your body's pace and nothing you do is wrong.

And we just kind of see with how your goals, where your goals are, but also where your body is and basically how to align your body so that those goals are more achievable. So there's a lot of nervous system regulation and practices that you can put into your daily life to make sure that you're not getting stressed, you're not getting overwhelmed, you're not getting, you know, overthinking and full of anxiety. can, you know, everything's okay and building that.

House Of Peregrine (46:24)

And I just want to say, you're doing it based on their charts, their preferences. This is a completely, it's like you're taking, learning about your own body. there's no two alike. And so you're helping people guide their lives based on their nervous system and their goals and their charts, whatever you're using. If it's human design, if it's tarot, if it's whatever you're bringing to the table.

Alicia (46:24)

Trust in yourself?

Yes. Yes.

Yes.

Yep.

you

House Of Peregrine (46:53)

This is a totally customized experience of coaching. Sometimes coaching is like, okay, like these are your goals. I'll help you get to them. Coaching is always a good idea, but this is a next level, which is what I want people to understand is this is really going into your body in a very meaningful and personalized way in order to then externalize what you want in the world. And this is.

Alicia (46:59)

Yeah.

Yes, from in out.

House Of Peregrine (47:19)

Yeah, and this I cannot

tell everyone listening and I want to just give this to you that this is incredibly powerful, incredibly life-giving, incredibly aligned with how women's bodies work, even if they are more on the masculine side. This is, in my opinion, world-changing work you're doing.

Alicia (47:39)

Thank you so much. Yeah, it's exactly that. Like I say to my clients, there isn't one size fits all. I don't believe in that. And so really every client has their own, I create an approach that is going to work for them, which is why I, there's such a deep process of not only going through your human design, but understanding your body, understanding your beliefs, understanding how your mind works, understanding your lifestyle, understanding what it is that you want and what you're afraid of.

all of that so that I can go deep and use the tools that are gonna work for you. So yeah, it's incredibly rewarding because I just wanna see women thrive. I think women are amazing. I just wanna see them thrive. They've been busting their asses for so long. It's time they get to feel good and do what they wanna do, yeah.

House Of Peregrine (48:15)

Yeah.

Yeah,

yeah. And your own burnout led you to this, which is actually, I mean, I just want to cry with how powerful that is because you were denying your own sensitivity, your own, all of this stuff. And now look what you're able to do for people. Like imagine you hadn't tapped into that.

Alicia (48:27)

Yes.

Yeah.

That's why I'm so grateful for it. Because my body really said, okay, the way you're living, the way you're thinking, the way you're operating, it doesn't work. Stop, start again. Just start again. And I remember I just thinking like, I don't want anyone to go through this. I don't want anyone to experience what I've been through. It is so deeply painful. And so if I can prevent that in some way or...

House Of Peregrine (48:54)

reset button.

Alicia (49:09)

even if someone has been through burnout to not go again. Because I have met people, they're like, yeah, I burnt out twice. And I'm like, did you not learn the lesson the first time? Like, okay, come talk to me because like there's something that's, yeah, that's not clicking. Yes, yes, yes, yes. But that's why we need to do that deep inner work of like, what is driving you to push yourself so intensely and essentially abuse your body? That's what's happening.

House Of Peregrine (49:12)

Yep.

Listen, some of us need to learn lessons multiple times. I'm pointing at myself.

Yeah. Or your nature,

abuse your nature or your, yeah. Is that in a way what you're guiding people through? Cause a burnout is one way to get in touch and it's a redirect if you let it, or if you have the privilege of making it that, but are you guiding people essentially through what they would go through in a burnout by reassessing?

Alicia (49:38)

Yeah.

House Of Peregrine (49:58)

by listening to their bodies, not that they're gonna go through a burnout, but more that you're doing the work that's often a burnout requires of you for it not to happen again.

Alicia (50:09)

I would say, depending where they are in their journey, I will definitely explain the warning signs when I see them coming up. yeah, so doing essentially that deeper work that I needed to do to heal. Because the thing they don't tell you about burnout is you're never gonna be the same. And that's a really good thing. Because the way you were living wasn't working and something has to deeply shift.

in your life, in your approach, in the way that you see yourself, in the things that you value about yourself. Something has to shift so that you can, it's so strange, become actually more you, if that makes sense. Because if I think of me pre-burnout, I was running on all of those things society tells us. Success looks like this. know, happiness looks like this. Push, push, go, go, ignore, know, become this mold.

be like everyone else, ignore everything about yourself. And now I feel more myself than I ever have because I've really tapped into who I am with that relationship with my body. yeah.

House Of Peregrine (51:14)

Yeah,

and you're doing now incredibly important work in the world. Like I said, I have incredible passion for what you're doing and I'm so, happy you could share some of this today. I wanna be mindful of your time, because we're actually, I know, I could talk to you forever. But is there anything else that you wanna say or bring to the table before we show people how to contact you?

Alicia (51:27)

You

Just listen to your body and love her. I know you've been raised in a society that tells you that you need to be smaller or thinner or, you know, in any which way or younger or lifted or whatever it is, but just to start to have incredible appreciation for everything that your body does for you every single day.

from your heart beating to your food being digested to your cells multiplying and nutrients going where they need to go. You live in an incredibly intelligent, beautiful, powerful, amazing body. And this is your home. And we gotta make sure that your home is a wonderful place to live.

House Of Peregrine (52:21)

I love that so much. love that so much. best way people are going to be inundating you after this. So I want to mention you do have a podcast as well.

Alicia (52:29)

I do,

yes, and you are gonna come on there, which I'm so excited about.

House Of Peregrine (52:32)

I'm coming. Yeah, me too.

I'm really excited. But tell us, tell us about that and then how people can most easily reach you or most effectively reach you.

Alicia (52:41)

Sure, so my podcast is called Alicia Inspired, success without sacrificing well-being. You can find it on Spotify, iTunes, Amazon, all the places. And in this podcast, I've got, it's a combination of solo episodes and guest episodes. And we really talk about creating an amazing life and how to do that using your body, using your skills, learning to love yourself.

things like that. So there's lots of wonderful topics on there. Also about stress release and healing from burnout. And actually I had someone say to me, thank you so much for your burnout episodes because now I understand what my friend is going through. And that touched me so much that, that she now has to support someone who understands better and can support her. That just made me so happy. Yes. And so if you want to get in contact with me,

Alicia inspired is my name on Instagram and my website Alicia inspired.com. You can come just come start a chat. I'd love to hear what you thought of this episode as well. And yeah, you are so welcome to come into my world. I'd love to support you.

House Of Peregrine (53:47)

amazing. I could go on and on. love talking to you. You're such a such a force in such a great way. So thank you for coming on. I hope people reach out to you. I hope they listen to the podcast if they maybe aren't ready or can't access coaching at the moment because it is really powerful stuff. And I'm sure we'll be hearing more from you in the future. Thank you everyone. Thank you everyone for joining us on the House of Peregrine podcast. I hope you enjoyed this and we'll see you next

Alicia (54:06)

Thank you so much.